Mission 2 - Samurai

Step King (Brad) .VS. Real King (Dusty):

DUSTY: So the King raised his mighty sword and rained steel down upon the Step King.

BRAD: But the Step King blocked it with his shield. And swung his cat o' nine tails into the King's smug face.

DUSTY: Which the King easily brushed aside like the feather of a gull.

DUSTY: And then the King did counter with a barrage of slashes and thrusts so fast and precise that the

Step King had no way to parry. BOTH: Yay!

BRAD: But he did. He did. He parried all of them. Easily. It was no big deal. BOTH: Aw.

BRAD: Then he grabbed the King's sword right out of his hand and smashed it over his knee. BOTH: Boo!

DUSTY: That's when the King pulled out a pump-action Mossberg shotgun!

BRAD: Which is completely anachronistic. So if we're doing any time period then the Step King just happened

to be wearing Kevlar body armour.

DUSTY: Concussion grenade! Rocket launcher.

BRAD: Hand grenade. Missile launcher.

DUSTY: Air strike. Black hole!

BRAD: Nuclear strike. God.

DUSTY: We know what this comes down to.

DUSTY: The Step King was very upset because when the real King pulled out his sword it was long and shiny

and the Step King did shudder at the size of it.

BRAD: And while the Step King acknowledged that the King carried a mighty beautifully engraved

broadsword all the maidens in the land preferred the more average-sized.

BRAD: Step King's sword because it knew how to listen.

BRAD: And the King needs to realize he's a guest in his castle and he better mind his P's and Q's because the

Step King has had it up to here with the King's bullshit!

DUSTY: Brad said a naughty word. (Gasp) Kids I'm so sorry you had to hear that inappropriate language.

DUSTY: Make sure you tell your mother. Brad can I talk to you in the hall please? (Brad Sighs)

DUSTY: Brad what just happened in there man?

BRAD: Look the Step King should not have used inappropriate language in front of the Prince and Princess

he admits that.

DUSTY: Why are you still saying it like that Brad? We're out in the hall.

BRAD: I don't know. I'm upset.

by Jordan Dunn from Daddy's Home